Thursday, June 22, 2006

There's nobody here but us Monkees....HA HA HA!

You NEED to watch this. Then, you will be enlightened.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Sometimes My Mind Plays Tricks On Me.

I didn't go to work yesterday. Because I didn't go to work yesterday, I decided to take a nap. My nap ended up lasting for two and a half hours so, when it came time to go to bed last night, I wasn't sleepy. Therefore, I had a hard time going to sleep and, when it came time to get up this morning and go to work, my body decided to punish me for throwing off my internal clock.

When my alarm went off this morning, my body told me "no", so I reached over, turned it off, and fell back asleep. Soon thereafter, I woke up, took my shower, got dressed, got into my car and drove to the interstate. However, I seemed to have not been paying attention, because I ended up taking a wrong exit off of the interstate and onto a very high swinging bridge that crossed between to extraordinarily high mountain peaks. Luckily, I was able to put my car into reverse and back myself out onto the interstate again. I was soon back on course and, before I knew it, I was right where I belonged: at my High School.

It wasn't really my High School; it was actually sort of a melding of my High School and College and, of course, I was missing a few articles of clothing. So, wearing nothing but a dress shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, I made my way through the halls of this giant school towards my locker where, assuredly, I would find the rest of my clothes. I made it just in time to duck into a bathroom, get dressed, and get to class when, I realized that...


My mind was playing tricks on me! It tricked me into thinking that I had gotten up, gotten ready, and headed out the door! It did this so that it could get more rest! The lazy jerk! How selfish can one be? It made me late for work and, of course, I couldn't give any excuses. I mean, after all, I didn't particularly feel like being committed today.....yikes.....

I guess that I need to take better care of myself from now on. After all, no one wants their own body taking revenge on them. I mean, that's just creepy!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Barry Manilow is daggy.

It's "Mandy" vs the hotrods
Reuters - Jun 5, 9:35 AM (ET)

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Sick and tired of souped-up cars with loud engines and pulsing music? Barry Manilow may be the answer.

Officials in one Sydney district have decided to pipe the American crooner's music over loudspeakers in an attempt to rid streets and car parks of hooligans whose anti-social cars and loud music annoy residents and drive customers from businesses.

Following a successful experiment where Bing Crosby music was used to drive teenage loiterers out of an Australian shopping center several years ago, Rockdale councilors believe Manilow is so uncool it might just work.

Councilor Bill Saravinovski said local authorities plan to install a loudspeaker and pipe in Manilow music, interspersed with classical pieces, over a car park favored by car "hoons," or hooligans.

"There are restaurants nearby and people can't park in the car park because they're intimidated by these hoons," Saravinovski told The Daily Telegraph newspaper Monday.

"Daggy music is one way to make the hoons leave an area because they can't stand the music," he said.

The Oxford Concise Australian Dictionary defines "daggy" as unfashionable, or lacking style, even eccentric or stupid.

Monday, June 05, 2006

You=Fast, Me=Furious.

As NASCAR has risen in popularity, I've noticed an unfortunate trend on our nation's highways. It seems that, regardless of how much traffic there is on the highway at any given time, many people now seem as if they're constantly trying to speed ahead, get past each other, and cut each other off.

"If you're trying to get over into another lane, FORGET ABOUT IT! Your turn signal means nothing to me, 'cuz I'm gonna WIN THIS RACE!"

I've actually had people angrily honk their horn at me for only going 10 miles/hour over the speed limit, while others shake their fist at me for stopping at a red light (as opposed to running straight through it).

As if this weren't bad enough, I've also noticed an increase in the number of people who are taking crappy little compact cars (like, for example, my trusty Honda Civic), and "fixing them up" to look like race cars. How many times do you have to put the word TOYOTA on your car before everyone gets the point? It appears on the front windshield, on the back window, on both side doors, on the spoiler (like a Toyota Corrola really even needs a spoiler), etc., etc. It just seems a little....over the top for my taste.

Granted, I live right outside of Charlotte, North Carolina (future home of the NASCAR hall of fame!), so the streets that I drive on might be more prone to this trend than other parts of the country. Given that fact, I just have to know, "exactly HOW fast and HOW furious does one need to be on a two lane highway during rush hour traffic?" You wanna race? Fine...go to the race track. You wanna get home without getting killed? Then try cooperating a little more on the highway. I'm getting sick and tired of getting stuck in traffic jams everyday just because some guy with "mad skills" has decided to cut someone off in traffic, causing a three-car pile up and massive delays.

Believe it or not, real life is actually different from what you see on T.V. Let that sink in. I like the idea of a good car race as much as the next guy; just keep it on the track. After all, we can't all be Speed Racer, can we?