Monday, May 29, 2006

Swan heart Boat

Lovesick swan falls in love with swan paddle boat
May 26, 3:16 PM (ET)

BERLIN (Reuters) - A swan has fallen in love with a plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the German town of Muenster and has spent the past three weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size, a sailing instructor said Friday.

Peter Overschmidt, who operates a sailing school and rents the two-seat paddle boat on the Aasee pond, said the black swan with a bright red beak has not left the white swan boat's side since it flew in one day in early May.

"It seems like he's fallen in love," said Overschmidt. "He protects it, sits next to it all the time and chases away any sail boats that get anywhere nearby. He thinks the boat is a strong and attractive swan."

Overschmidt said the swan will figure it out sooner or later but hopes he won't be too heartbroken.

"I'll wish him all the best and hope that he doesn't make the same mistake again," said Overschmidt."

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Pathetic Popple

I was going through some old things and found an old "Popple" that I used to play with when I was a kid. I still fondly remember the strange look that my parents gave me when I spent my allowance money on it; they couldn't imagine a more useless toy, nor could they imagine why I would pay 20 bucks for it! At any rate, I still have the thing, and my oldest son is playing with it now.

However, as he was playing with it, he asked, "Daddy...what's his name?"

I couldn't remember. I simply told him to call it "Popple", but I'd still like to know his name. I guess that I could simply look it up some place on the internet, but that would take the fun out of it, now wouldn't it?

If you know the name of this Popple, please respond and let me know. If, eventually, I don't get a response, I guess that I'll just have to call it "Pathetic Popple". After all, it looks the part...

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

BBC Interviews the Wrong "Guy"

BBC Apologizes for Interview Gaffe

May 15, 4:50 PM (ET)

By DANICA KIRKA

LONDON (AP) - The BBC interviewed the wrong Guy.

The network has apologized to its viewers for a studio mix up that resulted in a man mistakenly appearing on live television as Guy Kewney - an expert on Internet music downloads.

In fact the man was Guy Goma, a Congolese man applying for a technology-related job with the British Broadcasting Corp. Goma followed an employee to the studio after a mistake at a reception desk, the corporation said late Monday.

The BBC said it apologized to viewers for any confusion.

The case of mistaken identity occurred on May 8 - the day Britain's High Court awarded Apple Computer a victory in a lawsuit against Apple Corps, The Beatles' commercial arm.

In a reaction piece following the verdict, the BBC News 24 consumer affairs correspondent Karen Bowerman ostensibly welcomed computer expert Kewney.

After she introduced the apparent expert, there was a moment when Goma winced. He scrunched his face in panic and tried to open his mouth as if to explain.

"Were you surprised by this verdict today?" Bowerman asked.

"I'm very surprised to see the verdict come on me because I was not expecting that," he said in a heavy French accent, blinking in the studio lights. "When I came, they told me something else."

Nonplussed, he pressed on, growing more confident in his punditry as the interview progressed. He gamely delivered his opinion on the future of music downloads and cyber cafes following the landmark verdict.

Meanwhile, the real Kewney, who was waiting to be taken to the studio, looked up on a monitor and found another man in the interviewee's chair.

"What would you feel, if while you were sitting in that rather chilly reception area, you suddenly saw yourself not sitting in reception, but live, on TV? A bit surprised?" Kewney wrote on his Web log.

Kewney, who could not be reached for comment Monday, said on his blog that he was amused at first - but then thought that viewers would think he did not know his subject, hurting his reputation.

Kewney and other media outlets originally reported that Goma was a cab driver - though the BBC later said the reports were inaccurate.

Producers apparently realized by the end of the interview that something had gone wrong - and, after they had gone off the air, asked their "expert" if there was a problem.

"He said: 'Well, it was OK, but I was a bit rushed,' Kewney wrote on his blog.

Goma told the BBC his interview was stressful, but added he was prepared to return to the airwaves. He said he was "happy to speak about any situation," the BBC reported. Officials at BBC declined to comment on whether he would get the job he was applying for.

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Click here to see the video! This is hilarious!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Chimps vs. Man

According to this article, a group of twenty chimpanzee desperados recently escaped from a wildlife sanctuary, injuring three tourists and killing a taxi driver. This news may seem unfortunate to many, but to me, it is simply proof of a theory I have had for years.

You see...to me, primates have always been a dangerous lot. I mean, sure, they can do cute tricks, and you can put diapers on them and teach them sign language but, all along, I have never been fooled. I know the truth and, soon, you will as well.

I remember, as a young boy, being driven through an animal sanctuary and marveling at the monkeys that came up to our car window. They were so cute; swinging around and making hand gestures and weird noises. I, a young child of 5, was happily eating my french fries, minding my own business, when a monkey desperado came to my window and starting gesturing toward my french fries. Being the generous child that I was, I soon rolled down the window and offered one of my fries to this shady character. He took the french fry alright, and he ate it quickly. I was delighted...until he grabbed my finger! He began shaking it profusely, screaming "Aaaack! Eeeeeck! Ooooock! Which, of course, was assuredly some sort of monkey threat, advising me to "Hand over the fries, and no one gets hurt!"

Ever since then, I have never trusted these criminals. And, as you can see from the above article, neither should you. Forget about this silly "bird flu" pandemic that everyone has been talking about! It is apparent that these criminal masterminds are plotting to take over society as we know it, and it would probably be a good idea to prepare for the worst. After all, you never know what dasterdly deed a primate might commit to get what it wants.

Remember the french fry. Never forget.

Save Lewis!

Conn. Crazy Cat Case Heads to Trial
May 3, 6:43 PM (ET)

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) - The case of a cat accused of viciously attacking several neighbors is going to trial. Ruth Cisero, owner of Lewis the cat, Tuesday withdrew her bid for special probation because she would have had to allow Lewis to be euthanized.

Cisero withdrew her application for accelerated rehabilitation and instead pleaded not guilty to second-degree reckless endangerment and elected a trial by jury.

Residents of the neighborhood of Sunset Circle claimed they had been terrorized by Lewis.

The neighbors said Lewis' long claws, along with catlike stealth, have allowed the cat to attack at least a half dozen people and ambush the Avon lady as she was getting out of her car.

More than 500 "Save Lewis" T-shirts have been sold to raise funds for a defense fund for Cisero and a Westport lawyer has volunteered to be the cat's lawyer.

The special probation offer with conditions was made at the insistence of neighbor Maureen Bachtig, who was reportedly attacked by Lewis Feb. 20.

In a letter to prosecutors, Bachtig said she would only agree to probation for Cisero if the cat were put to death.

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Information from: Connecticut Post, http://www.connpost.com
http://www.cafepress.com/crazycatlewis

Monday, May 01, 2006

Trees, or NOT Trees?

I've been seeing alot of abnormally tall trees popping up recently around the city where I work. At first, I was quite frightened by these menacing trees, as I strongly suspected that they were planted there by an evil race of robots intent on taking over the earth. However, upon closer examination, I realized that these horrible atrocities were actually cell phone towers, masquerading as trees!

Sometimes, trees are not really trees.

As you can see in the photo to the right, these supposed trees blend in "seamlessly" with the other, much shorter and more natural looking trees in the background. Don't be fooled!

I can't put my finger on it just yet, but I sense a conspiracy in the making with these trees. If someone is willing to trick people into thinking that cell phone towers are trees, then who knows to what ends they might go to trick people with other objects as well? How do we know, for example, that water towers are actually water towers? How do we know that billboards are billboards? Call me paranoid (you'd be right), but I'm gonna be keeping a REAL close eye on these so-called trees from now on, just to make sure that they are, in fact, cell phone towers, and not ALIEN VESSELS masquerading as cell phone towers. Nothing gets past me, my friend; nothing, but the wind........