Sunday, June 24, 2007

What in tarnation is going on here?

So we received this brochure in the mail at work the other day:

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Here's the question:
Can anyone figure out what it is, exactly, that is being advertised here?

Upon first glance, you might think it's barbecue. I mean, after all, there is smoke, and there is a cartoon pig. In fact, barbecue is even mentioned in the brochure; so it must be barbecue, right?

Then, upon further investigation, you might find the photo of the men grinning beside the mannequin:











If this confuses you, have no fear; this is soon explained on the company's website (www.smokeschool.net), a jaunty trip down memory lane to the way that websites looked back in 1996. Oh...wait; it's not really explained. But, you can find many, many intriguing photos of people standing beside that mannequin. I'm not sure why...

In fact, I'm not sure why any of this is an issue. Why not, oh, I don't know, figure out what it is that you do and put THAT on the brochure. Who's idea was it to insert the random photo of the guys with the mannequin. "This will make perfect sense", they must have said, "to people who have no idea what the significance of this ridiculous photo is!"

Okay; I concede. The brochure makes it perfectly obvious that they are a "smoke school". In fact, they even show a photo of their very large smoke-producing machine. Apparently, state governments send their employees to be doused with smoke...for some reason...and they get some sort of certification. Can someone explain this to me?

"This is the sort of pollution that YOU don't want to produce, boys! Watch this!!!"

I'm probably not grasping this whole thing properly; maybe someone can explain it to me. After all, as "Uncle George Whitlow" likes to say:

"We appreciate your business. Without you we would be blowing smoke."

That about sums all up right there, I guarantee.