Monday, April 03, 2006

Global Warming? Pass the Kool Aid!


A recent Time Magazine story states that, within a few short decades, the whole climate of the earth will be dramatically changed (for the worse) due to a recently discovered phenomenon that they would like to call "the global warming". They even went so far as to include a nifty photo of a polar bear surfing on a sheet of ice on the cover. The caption says, "Be Worried. Be Very Worried."

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not so sure what they're so worried about. To me, it looks like that Polar Bear is having one sweet time surfin' on that ice patch. Why, it even reminds me of that scene from "Ice Age", where those cool, jive-talkin' animals go snowboarding on the ice. Looks like a freaking blast!

Besides, how could "global warming" be so bad? I mean, everybody loves summer, right? Who wouldn't love having summer ALL YEAR ROUND??? Come on! You could play in the sprinkler in the middle of January, for crying out loud! What could be better than that?

If you ask me, the good folks at Time Magazine should stop worrying about such trivial matters as world climate change and start focusing on matters of importance to you and me. Case in point: The Kool-Aid Man. Now, the Kool-Aid man has been around for YEARS, busting through brick walls and shouting, "OH YEAHH!" However, I have yet to see any kind of journalistic article explaining, in scientific terms, how a giant glass pitcher full of liquid can burst through a brick wall without sustaining damage of any sort. Truly a miracle of modern science, if I've ever seen one; and yet, Time Magazine is too busy chasing surfing polar bears to even take the time to look into it.

Time Magazine? More like LAME Magazine! For Sure...

2 comments:

james mickey dean said...

haha, umm ok?

:D

Anonymous said...

I remember you talking about this when you were in high school... funny!!!